The Conflict of Faith

Dearest J,

For the majority of my day today, I’ve just been in a tailspin.

Ever since my trip and meeting that girl who was into tarot / astrology, this is what happened:

• I have signed up for an Astrocartography Course + Locational Astrology Course

• I took a purpose/career course, and a few Chani mini courses

• I bought 5 books on the subject

• I booked 1 reading, which wasn’t great

• I booked another reading, from one of the authors

• I bought professional software to understand all this on both desktop apps and mobile / iPad apps

And basically, I have invested a LOT of my time and energy into this. I’ve given already more money into this than I think I’ve ever provided for the Christian church.

AND I’ve been:

• Really investing in understanding where I’m at in terms of my chart aligning to my career

• Understanding new careers based on where I’m at, and what’s going on and why things aren’t aligning and why I’m feeling SO burned out

And overall, it’s been really helpful — but still I feel unsettled with direction.

However, I’m proud of myself for continuing down another path, learning another way, trying something new outside of Christian Evangelicalism.

One step, not that I’m “for this”, but in a way I want to see if it’s real or fake?

Otherwise I do appreciate Christ, and everything. I just need to know, I think.

Amen <3 Fay