Broken and Confused

Dearest J,

Yes I’ve begun my new monastic order.

But a lot of other things are wrapping up …

Including my job (I quit my last project), my relationship (my partner is again just hammering lies at me and is asking me to leave), and being just really confused about upcoming projects, hopes and dreams.

I’m feeling totally broken and confused. I know that God would never tell me I’m broken, and that God is also not the author of confusion, so this must be from satan.

I do feel it’s satanic.

The whole situation with my relationship is satanic, I feel and think. It’s deeply hurtful the things I hear, and quite frankly I’m totally sick and tired of it.

Lord, all I can ask in prayer is to please walk me through this valley of the shadow of death.

I am reminded of Ms. Fay’s verse, which was open when she passed away at her kitchen table.

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.