Running the Fake Race

Dearest J,

You likely know my testimony by now. I’d like to divulge a bit into explaining why self help feels like a marathon, but is actually a hamster wheel — you never get off.

It comes down to this illusion of control, which is essentially a tactic Satan uses to make us feel like we’re Gods. It actually points directly back to the Garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve took of a bite of the fruit from the “Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil”. That’s basically what self help is, and where it started. We believed the lie of the snake, that if we just have this knowledge, we’ll be better. And so we believed that lie. We think that we’re gaining a lot more knowledge, and more knowledge means more power, and more power means more control, and less stress, and less … overwhelm. But ironically, after the illusion wears away, you realize you’ve just ran in a very large circle that led back to where it all started.

The issue is, we’re constantly sold these HOPES by life coaches, doctors, self-help gurus, etc … and the idea is that if you just follow their guidelines, their book, their solution, then all of a sudden you will finish a race I’d like to call the “Struggle Race” and eventually finish, with people celebrating you at the end as you win a trophy.

Except, that day never comes. Because life is actually really hard, and struggles are a real part of life. What so often gets overlooked in personal development is the idea that it’s ok to not live a perfectly idyllic lifestyle, and in fact, the entire reason we even have this issue is because of our fallen world. So instead of trying to follow all these ideas and practices, and expecting life to just all of a sudden become way “better” one day, that day often never comes.

Personal development and self help are like drugs. Once you read a book, you often end up collecting a whole lot more of them. Because often one book doesn’t cover it all.

It starts with one book, and often blows up into an entire “way of being” for a while.

• Read one book about self help

• Start reading more self help books

• Health focus

• Do yoga and transcendental meditation

• Learn about ACIM

• Get into the prosperity gospel

• Do tarot or oracle cards

• Get some nice crystals, bc they feel “light”

• Plan your future with astrology

• Get into the life hacking movement

• Develop productivity obsession

For example, if you’re having an issue with shame, then who’s to blame for that? Often in self help, it’s reflecting on yourself. It’s very self focused. And if you have a problem, it’s often also pointing the finger (as so often happens in therapy) at your parents, and society.

John the Baptist was brilliant in that he pointed everything back to REPENTANCE. And that’s in the most general sense of sin, which includes our lack of forgiveness, our need to feel in control, to feel like we’re on top of aging, whatever it may be.

But the thing is, God is the one who’s ultimately in control. He knows everything, and is guiding our path, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t also give us free will, and hopefully our will aligns to his will (and in order to do that, we read our Bible to gain wisdom on what that entails). 

We can do our best, and we can have healthy practices, but not make it all about those practices, and the hampster wheel of constantly following those ways of helping ourself — we never really get better.

Jesus summarized it well:

• Love God with all your heart

• Love others as you would yourself

So often, self help misses BOTH of these points. It makes it all about us, and focusing on what we can do to control our situation. We don’t end up trusting in God. And secondly, because the focus becomes so intense on ourselves, we completely forget to love others as we would ourself. We victim blame, we look into our shadow selves, and we try to predict our futures through our own effort, manipulation tactics, or even divination routines.

THIS, my friend, is not helping you at all but making you worse.

This is why this enemy tactic is so vicious. Because it wants to give you the illusion that you’re getting better. And to a degree, you do improve. But at what point are you actually HEALED?

That point only happens when you pick up your cross and walk on a daily basis. It’s understanding that the Gospel of Personal Development and Self Help was a false idol, and one that could only get you so far.

“Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.” Luke 9:24